| Tuesday, February 21, 2006 |
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something is wrong with me again. i really have no idea what it is but i just know that something IS wrong. started feeling that way last week, but the feeling seems to have intensified this week. wonder what the heck is wrong with me. to start it off, maybe it was just the lack of interest in anything. it was as if school suddenly didn't matter anymore.... neither did socialising with og and cg friends.. i just wanted to shrink like a hermit crab back into my own world.. i started talking less, keeping quiet for long periods of time, not messaging anybody. yeah as unbelievable as that may sound, it IS true. i told myself it was to prevent my bill from skyrocketing again. but somehow i doubt it is the main reason why i just don't feel like chatting much. i wanted to go out, but everytime i went out it seemed i HAD to buy something.. what happened to going out but not spending money? used to be able to do it.. now it's so hard.. and on top of it everyone's not free.. they're all in school studying, or out working.. it's just so hard to get people to go out anymore.. been meaning to call luke, cindy and cliffy but i keep forgetting.. or i'll convince myself that it's too late to call them, they're probably asleep, better not wake them - just in case i have a guilt trip. don't ask me why i keep putting them off... maybe it's cos it still kinda hurts when i find out that cin chats more with aaron than with me.. and he, her.. or maybe i'm just jealous. of what, anyway? it's not as if i still like him now.. anns, anns, anns. girl, i didn't know that i depended so much on you. perhaps you realized that much earlier than me. i knew it all along but it just didn't really register.. until you left for perth. now there's no one to call at one, two am in the morning to chat with til dawn. it's so hard to tell others stuff that's so easy for me to tell you. so hard even, to think about it. it just comes out so easily when i'm talking to you. msn just doesn't make up for chatting on the phone.. damn. now i feel like crying. stupid hotmail got problem.. i can't open emails, i can't compose new emails, it takes forever to load, and the list goes on and on.. arghx. it's so dumb. i wonder if it's my account that has a problem, or is it my COMPUTER that has a problem. hmmm. it's raining now.. i wana go out and walk in the rain.. but how can i? it's 2 in the morning.. sighs. there's so many things i want to do but there's noone to do it with.. and y'noe how i hate doing things alone. this just plain SUCKS. maybe i really do need a bf. or just a buddie. someone who stays near and can accompany me. play ball, run at the park, biking, hang out, eating, blah blah blah. yah. this sounds familiar. damn it, danny. why d'ya have to go iran for 4 freaking months?! arghx. i wish you'd call. |
| 'please don't stop the music 5:59 pm |
now playing :
| song of my life. |
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Past the point of no return - no backward glances: the games we've played till now are at an end. Past all thought of "if" or "when" - no use resisting: abandon thought, and let the dream descend . . . |
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| Writer |
| I am an eighteen-year-old student currently attending Republic Polytechnic. I enjoy reading, writing, chilling, intelligence, and sarcasm. My goals in life include being a professional slacker, wasting as much of my time, life and intelligence away, sleeping a minimum of 12 hours everyday, being a successful bum, and maybe, possibly, someone you could bring home to meet mom with. |
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| Credits |
| This layout was created by Coram Deo. Other credits go to X X and X |
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