| Monday, April 24, 2006 |
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hmmm.... WHY both alicia AND xi wen go do the stupid dumb quiz AND name ME as one of their 5 'chosen ones' to go do it too?!!! do i look that free to ya?!! hmpf. no worries. i'm just being me. just complaining. ahahahas. kaes. i WILL do it.. some other day. just not now.. i wana go oink soon.. but dling songs (oldies if ya wana know) so i gotta wait.. zzzzz.. *yawns* it's really funny how i can be so naive when it comes to trusting people cos come to think about it, i trust almost everyone and anyone.. or at least most people.. whether i've met them or not is beside the point. yeah.. as long as i like the gut feeling when i'm chatting to the person, i trust him/her. of course, there is a certain point i can trust them to, especially without meeting them, but i somehow get the feeling that i trust people more than i should. oh wells. and then.. i realize that i've a pretty cynical take on relationships. personal take. it's like no matter what i say about wanting a relationship blah blah blah, i just can't seem to actually "settle down" in a sense. i get negative about the future when someone asks me to stead, thinking stuff like when we're gona break up, how long will the relationship actually last, how hypocritical it feels when someone says i love you and you know they don't mean it. or at least, that it isn't really love. like, maybe. but love? i love my friends. that much i know. but love in rs kinda way.. it's just too important a word for me to use it lightly. it may sound kinda cliche, but that's how i feel... since when have i become such a realist? i guess i got it from my mum... she doubts EVERYTHING. to her, everything comes with a catch. i don't wana be like that.. i really don't. yet somehow, some of it is rubbing off on me.... and of course, there's the problem of me not being able to really open up.. like someone complained, there's something holding me back. in relationships. yeah. i know. i realized that. methinks that's what made me so "cynical" in the first place. but i have no idea why.. i wasn't like that. at least not in secondary school.. i was aware of it only in sec 4.. i guess before i can actually have a real, lasting relationship, i have to fix that problem... find out what caused me to become like that and try to fix it.. joel's right, in a sense. (i shall not repeat what he said though. you wana know you're welcome to ask me yourself. heh.) but i think that it applies to everyone in general, not just guys. just that perhaps it differs if you include the girls... ahahas. serious. but i guess the problem would be it's hard to pinpoint who in general if it's everyone. cos it's toooo general lah. ahaha. i'm not making any sense, am i? hehe. nevermind.. oh wells. i gotta go sleep already.. tomorrow still have school.. nights! i wonder, is it necessary for you people to treat her that way? why must you guys act like such insensitive, cowardly jerks who bitch about others just to make their life hell? does it elevate your status? no. does it accomplish anything good or constructive? no. what does it do? it makes her feel like shit. it makes her cry. oh riiight. you guys just loooovve the feeling of watching someone else cry cos of the hurt you caused him/her, don't you? seriously, i feel so damn fucking disgusted when i remember that i wanted to your friends. cowards. you guys just love ganging up and bullying people. next time, try doing when she's NOT alone. try doing it in front of me, and i'll make you pay. so will the others. |
| 'please don't stop the music 3:33 pm |
now playing :
| song of my life. |
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Past the point of no return - no backward glances: the games we've played till now are at an end. Past all thought of "if" or "when" - no use resisting: abandon thought, and let the dream descend . . . |
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| Writer |
| I am an eighteen-year-old student currently attending Republic Polytechnic. I enjoy reading, writing, chilling, intelligence, and sarcasm. My goals in life include being a professional slacker, wasting as much of my time, life and intelligence away, sleeping a minimum of 12 hours everyday, being a successful bum, and maybe, possibly, someone you could bring home to meet mom with. |
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| Credits |
| This layout was created by Coram Deo. Other credits go to X X and X |
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