| Monday, April 17, 2006 |
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that particular day.. the non-existant entry.. well.. i didn't wana blog about it cos i didn't wana remember it.. didn't wana remember how i felt. didn't wana even think of it. besides, i was too caught up with prelims and revising for my a maths so i would pass.. yeah.. that's why i brought my a math textbook to the chalet and sat there and did revision after revision.. cos i didn't wana fail.. but that's beside the point. i guess at that point of time, i still liked ya quite a bit.. so it felt REALLY weird to see ya and ya ex there.. so i chose to ignore whatever i felt and squash them inside me and just to continue doing sum after sum even though by then i was so sick of doing a math i wanted to scream... and i think.. i told myself to just forget it... since ya already had a gf and ya seemed so happy with her.. so.. i guess.. perhaps.. that's why i just decided to ignore what i felt.. and why now i'm having all these problems.. cos i've succeeded - partly - in doing what i tried to during the past few years.... that is, to forget that i like ya.. mind over matter, that's what it all is.. like with joel in sec 2.. thinking about it was too painful and i felt really dumb but regretting it was seriously pointless. so i just forced myself to forget the whole thing.. sorta mentally "erase" all my feelings or something like that lah. it worked, obviously.. that took the shortest time to forget, so far.. not that it was the worst, but well.. *shrugs. anyways, the past doesn't matter. it's the present and the future that counts.. unfortunately, it doesn't seem to work all the time.. like with raymond.. or.. y'noe.... others. =X i'm thinking.. should i blog about the wedding? afterall, nothing much happened.. it was, in fact, pretty boring.. reached there the earliest.. then waited approximately 1.5 hours for the dinner to start.. damn slow.. the food was.. not bad.. and i really enjoyed my red wine.. =D gosh. that reminds me.. i miss drinking vodka.. hahaha.. cheryl's gotten really pretty.. thin, pretty, blah blah blah. her bro's gotten fat. lol. but still, i just don't like her.. hmmm.. i wonder why. it's just s feeling.. disliking everything about her.. perhaps cos she's what i can never be? or what i don't want to be. or what i.. aiyahh. i duno lah!! i very nearly ended up dressing like her. YIKES. so happy i didn't buy the brown skirt i wanted and that i got the white jackie and black top and brown pleated skirt.. it's soooo freaaaaaky. hah. cin looked.. hmmm.. i duno lahh. kiddish? =X sandra looked more sporty. more guyy. more funky. but still kiddish. wait. they looked the same age! or that's what i thought.. and i felt absolutely like a giant next to them.. especially in heels.. ohh yarhh.. i looooovvvee heels man.. i felt sooooo tall! taller than uncle pat. taller than uncle chris. taller than mum. (duh!) taller than aunty lena. taller than aunty shir. nearly as tall as daniel and darrel and eric and who knows who else? hahahaha.. happy sia!! cos usually i'm shorter than them... except mum and perhaps aunty lena.. heeeee.. someday, i gotta go buy some nice going out clothes then can wear it with my heels. not that i don't have, lah. just.. not what i really like.. and wear it when i'm out with kris.. cos currently she's the only one who's as dressy as me.. actually, she's dressier. but usually only when shaun's around.. LOL. i guess girls like to dress up for their guy.. which i kinda understand.. hahaha.. ookkkaee. it's time for me to go sleepp.. gotta wake up in 4 hours time to go school, so.. yeah. *yawns. shall come back early and crash tomorrow.. heh. nighty! =) hope i don't see the big, fat, ugly walrus tomorrow. lalalalalaaaaaaaa~ =P does this entry satisfy what you were looking for? what exactly were ya looking for anyway? |
| 'please don't stop the music 4:28 pm |
now playing :
| song of my life. |
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Past the point of no return - no backward glances: the games we've played till now are at an end. Past all thought of "if" or "when" - no use resisting: abandon thought, and let the dream descend . . . |
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| Writer |
| I am an eighteen-year-old student currently attending Republic Polytechnic. I enjoy reading, writing, chilling, intelligence, and sarcasm. My goals in life include being a professional slacker, wasting as much of my time, life and intelligence away, sleeping a minimum of 12 hours everyday, being a successful bum, and maybe, possibly, someone you could bring home to meet mom with. |
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| Credits |
| This layout was created by Coram Deo. Other credits go to X X and X |
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