| Friday, June 16, 2006 |
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sighs. i've been such an idiot. really. stupid. naive. why do i just believe what anyone tells me? i'm so fcuking trusting. and i chose to believe him over others... what do i get for it? i get the truth slammed into my face AGAIN. *wham* OUCH!!! wake up, girl.. sighs. this shows that i can't bloody well trust him. cos i did, once, and he's proven that i trusted the wrong person. stupid, naive, gullible me. oh wells. it takes 2 hands to clap.. it's as much my fault as his.. or maybe his more.. but either way.. i'm not totally without blame either.... i'm not angry.. i think.. my anger died out days ago.. and somehow, i'm not surprised about it... it's wrong to say that i suspected what was coming, but well.. the truth doesn't surprise me.. really.. right now, i just have a lot of questions.. AND I WANT THEM ANSWERED. i want to know everything. the whole truth. there's so many things i still don't understand. even if it kills me, i STILL want to know everything. stubborn, i guess.. or maybe i just love the truth more than anything.. i just want the truth.. i'm not angry with him for playing me. WAIT. i meant i'm not THAT angry with him for doing that as compared to lying to me. fcuk man. i hate it when people lie to me!! especially about this kinda stuff... irritating. danny did that (omission of the truth amounts to the same thing) and now nich. wah piang. why do i keep falling for guys who're attached and don't bother to tell me?!!! -.-" grrrrrr.... makes u just wana slap them, don't it? anyway, i wanted to confront him about it.. but zul said not to.. he said he'd tell me everything. well, he'd better. cos if i'm not satisfied, i'd go confront him.. it's not that i purposely want to make things difficult, hard or awkward between us... it's just that i really want to know the truth...... i noticed that i said that word a lot of times already.. truth. hmmmm.. oh and i'm thankful that at least i didn't waste a lot of time.. on him.. just maybe a month or less? hah.. y'noe what.. i think.. that.. i'm still better off without a bf or liking anyone. look at all the trouble it's put me through!!! wasting how many months of my life.. tskk. saw anthony yesterday.. man, that guy's looking cuter than ever nowadays.. but he's attached already.. lols.. i don't regret rejecting him though.. as cute as he is, i know he's totally not my type.. hahahaha.. tomorrow meeting zul around 3+ to listen to the rest of the story.. meeting the rest of the db people at city hall at 5.. dinner at marina square.. then chilling out around esplanade there i think.. till 1o+? sighs.. gona miss my bro's chalet.. =( i feel so mean.. he's like gona celebrate his bdae then.. (advanced celebration. =X) and i won't be there.. at all.. i think.. it's only for one night.. and sat's the race.... speaking of which.. i duno how sia.. race.. today we sucked. training. worse than tues. maybe cos everyone was tired? but one thing is that my timing and technique improved.. now i'm just left with the power!! not enough power.. how?!!! =( btw, i just wana say thanks to those who felt so indignant and angry on my behalf cos of what happened.. and who offered to bash him up.. ahahahha.. charis.. van.. xi wen.. alicia.. even zul.. thanks guys... oops. girls. and guy. nvm... love y'all loads!!! and of cos i still love the rest of you people whose names i didn't mention.. (gosh. i feel like i'm writing a SPEECH. *pengz*) hahaha..... i feel so much better after imagining it with you girls.. =P do you care for me cos if you don't then just LEAVE. and i heard the reverbertating footsteps syncing up to the beating of my heart and i was positive that unless i got myself together i would watch me fall apart and i can't let that happen again cos then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been and this is no place to live my life. bruised and battered by your words. dazed and shattered now it hurts. |
| 'please don't stop the music 5:48 pm |
now playing :
| song of my life. |
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Past the point of no return - no backward glances: the games we've played till now are at an end. Past all thought of "if" or "when" - no use resisting: abandon thought, and let the dream descend . . . |
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| Writer |
| I am an eighteen-year-old student currently attending Republic Polytechnic. I enjoy reading, writing, chilling, intelligence, and sarcasm. My goals in life include being a professional slacker, wasting as much of my time, life and intelligence away, sleeping a minimum of 12 hours everyday, being a successful bum, and maybe, possibly, someone you could bring home to meet mom with. |
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| Tag |
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Free shoutbox @ ShoutMix |
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| Credits |
| This layout was created by Coram Deo. Other credits go to X X and X |
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