| Friday, September 28, 2007 |
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my birthday's coming...... soon.. very very soon. o5 days. i'll finally be 18. legal. m18, club, drink, buy booze/cigs, drive cars, apply credit cards.. no more parental consent forms! hah. what else is there to being 18? i'm just a year older...... apparently i've looked 19/2o all along, so well, it doesn't really matter... but the main thing is, i don't feel happy. honestly? i'm dreading it............. can we just skip my birthday? pretend it doesn't exist. pretend i don't have one. pretend... pretend anything. i just don't want to celebrate it....... alone. not again. sighs. thought of skipping school on weds. but where to go? what to do? money? i don't wana go school.... neither do i wana stay at home.... the higher your hopes, the greater your disappointment. ~ i knew there was a reason i believed in this in the first place. why do i have a split personality? part of me is, and always will be, an idealistic romantic; that's the part that loves romance novels, romantic comedies, gallantry, chivalry. the other part of me is such a cynical realist. that's the part that loves satire, sarcasm, and the like, which are otherwise known as word play, or british humour. hah. i took turns; first being one, then the other. of course, the whole time i was both, just that one predominated. now.. now.... now i don't know which one i am. i'm just 5o-5o. fuck it. i MUST go school tomorrow. shall go sleep.. and try not to think so much. problem is, if i don't think, i feel. which isn't any better. ARGHX. y'noe, i've been sleeping with baby taz every night... i can't sleep without hugging my baby taz and trying to sleep... as huge as it is, as bulky as it is, as much space as it takes up, I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT IT. damn. and the dreams? they're coming back every night to haunt me. i think... i need sleeping pills. sighs. |
| 'please don't stop the music 1:06 am |
now playing :
| song of my life. |
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Past the point of no return - no backward glances: the games we've played till now are at an end. Past all thought of "if" or "when" - no use resisting: abandon thought, and let the dream descend . . . |
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| Writer |
| I am an eighteen-year-old student currently attending Republic Polytechnic. I enjoy reading, writing, chilling, intelligence, and sarcasm. My goals in life include being a professional slacker, wasting as much of my time, life and intelligence away, sleeping a minimum of 12 hours everyday, being a successful bum, and maybe, possibly, someone you could bring home to meet mom with. |
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| Credits |
| This layout was created by Coram Deo. Other credits go to X X and X |
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